How to Get from London Heathrow to Gatwick Airport

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If you’re feeling like a millionaire—or just want to see £100 disappear faster than a biscuit at a kids’ party—take a black cab. The drive takes about 60 minutes in good traffic, but “good traffic” in London is a mythical creature like a unicorn or a polite queue. Expect closer to 90 minutes and a bill that will make you gasp.

To be fair, a black cab is comfortable and the driver knows every back alley like a wizard knows spells. But for the price of that ride, you could almost buy a return ticket to Paris. The real cost? £80 to £120—enough to fund a small seagull’s retirement. Only do this if you are on an expense account or want a story to tell your grandchildren.

Surprising fact: London black cab drivers spend years memorising “The Knowledge”—a monster test of 25,000 streets. So your driver is overqualified, underpaid, and probably very tired of your luggage. Tip them generously, you heathen.