Urgent Care Centre Central Middlesex Hospital
Rumour has it (and real staff confirm) they’ve pulled action figures out of nostrils. Also: a man who swallowed his keys “to keep them safe.” Another patient came in with a live goldfish stuck in their ear—don’t ask why.
Every day is a comedy show disguised as medical care. You’re not just a patient; you’re part of a bizarre human collection. Own it.
Parking? Actually Not Terrible
Hospital parking is usually a dystopian nightmare. But Central Middlesex has a surprisingly sane car park. It’s not free, but you won’t need a map and a survival kit. Park, walk 30 seconds, and you’re at the centre’s door.
If you take the bus, it’s even easier. Buses drop you right outside. No hiking across a car park while clutching a bleeding hand.