Hazel Grove Plumbing Supplies & Bathroom Centre

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I once asked for a “thingy that goes whirr under the sink.” I was expecting a blank stare and a point toward the “miscellaneous junk” aisle. Instead, the salesperson, a man named Dave who wore a shirt with a cartoon wrench doing yoga, instantly handed me a specific cartridge for my make and model of faucet. “You’ve got the 2018 Glacier Bay, right?” he said.

It was terrifying. I felt like I was being watched by a sentient, benevolent plumbing AI. Dave then explained that the “whirr” was actually a failed ceramic disc valve, and that I could fix it in ten minutes. I was too stunned to argue. He was right, by the way. I fixed it in nine minutes, purely out of spite.

And here’s a surprising fact that will blow your gaskets: Hazel Grove stocks over 4,000 different kinds of washers. That’s not a typo. Four thousand. There are more washers here than there are species of mammals on Earth. You could build a gigantic, leak-proof sculpture of a giraffe if you were so inclined.

Bathrooms so fancy you’ll cry into your toilet

Their bathroom centre is not for the faint of heart—or wallet. They have toilets that cost more than my first car and do things I’m not comfortable discussing in polite company. “Heated seats? Please. That’s for amateurs,” one salesman whispered to me, pointing at a model that played “Eye of the Tiger” upon flushing. I am not making this up.

They also have a bathtub that is literally the size of a Smart car. It came with a pillow, a wine holder, and a remote control that looked like it could launch a satellite. I sat in it for a solid minute pretending I was a wealthy Viking. A salesperson named Brenda didn’t even judge me—she just handed me a brochure and said, “It’s on sale this week. Only two kidneys required.”

Gallery | Bushboard

But the real showstopper is the “Rainforest” shower system. It has six nozzles, three steam settings, and a light that simulates a thunderstorm. I tested it and accidentally soaped my hair twice because I was so relaxed. The downside? Your water bill will look like you’re trying to fill a swimming pool. Totally worth it.