How to Use the Underground in London
First rule: do not try to buy a paper ticket from a machine on your first go. Those machines are robots on a coffee break. Instead, tap in with a contactless card or your phone—it’s like magic, but with less fanfare.
If you use an Oyster card, top it up before you run out of credit. Trust me, begging the station attendant to let you through because you’re 20p short is not a good look. You’ll get a sigh that speaks volumes.
Master the Art of the Escalator
Escalators on the Tube are a sacred dance. Stand on the right, walk on the left—it’s not a suggestion, it’s a law of physics. Break this rule, and you’ll get a sharp “Mind the gap, mate” from a commuter who hasn’t smiled since 1997.
I once stood on the left by accident, and a woman in a suit hissed past me like a disturbed cat. Lesson learned: the left lane is for speed demons and late workers.