Premier Inn Birmingham City Centre Broad Street Hotel
Walk in. The lobby smells faintly of toast and ambition. Check-in is a breeze. They hand you a key card. You feel a strange sense of power.
You are one floor up from a burrito place. Down the street is a nightclub playing 2000s pop. It’s a sensory buffet.
The best part? You can watch the chaos unfold from your window. Then, you can close the curtains and pretend you’re a normal person.
The Rooms: A Fortress of Beige
Every Premier Inn room is a scientific marvel. They have perfected the art of “just fine.” The bed is not too soft, not too hard. It’s The Goldilocks Zone of sleep.
The pillows are suspiciously plump. They look like marshmallows. You will try to fight them, and you will lose. You’ll be asleep in minutes.
Look at the desk. It’s the perfect height for eating takeaway curry. There are enough plug sockets to charge a small spaceship. It’s functional.